As the summer holidays come to an end, many families begin to feel the shift in mood. For children, the thought of returning to school can spark excitement, but it can also bring nerves, resistance and dysregulation. This is not simply about not wanting to go back. For some children, the change in routine, the loss of freedom and the demands of the school day can feel overwhelming.
Dysregulation means a child’s emotions and behaviours are harder to manage because their brain and body are under stress. The return to school is a common time when this shows up. By noticing the signs and planning ahead, parents can help ease the transition and reduce those anxious feelings.
Why the Return to School Can Be a Challenge:
For weeks, children have enjoyed the comfort of home, the flexibility of choosing how they spend their time, the safety of being close to family and the freedom of unstructured days. Suddenly, September approaches and the predictability of school routines returns: early mornings, timetables, uniforms, busy classrooms and expectations for focus.
This sudden change can unsettle even the most confident of children. For those who are already sensitive to change, or who experience sensory challenges, the adjustment can be particularly tough.
Signs Your Child Might Be Dysregulated:
Every child shows worry in their own way, but some common signs to look out for include:
- Struggling to fall asleep or waking more often in the night
- Complaints of stomach aches, headaches or feeling unwell without a clear reason
- Becoming tearful, irritable or easily frustrated
- Refusing to talk about school, or declaring they “hate it”
- Big emotional reactions, such as anger, shouting or withdrawal
- Restlessness, fidgeting or difficulty sitting still
- Seeking more comfort than usual, wanting to stay close to parents or siblings
- A sudden change in appetite or eating habits
If you notice these changes appearing as the school start date approaches, they may be signs of back-to-school worries.
Practical Ways to Support Your Child:
The good news is that with gentle planning and support, you can make the transition smoother. Here are some practical, parent-friendly strategies:
Reset routines slowly
- Begin moving bedtimes and wake-up times back towards school hours a week or two before school starts.
- Re-establish mealtimes at regular times to help the body adjust.
Prepare for sensory comfort
- Buy uniform and shoes early and allow your child to wear them around the house. This helps soften stiff shoes and gives time to cut out scratchy labels or adjust clothing.
- Let your child help choose socks, hairbands or lunchboxes that feel comfortable and familiar.
Build a sense of control
- Work with your child to design a simple morning routine. A visual timetable with drawings, photos or written steps can be very reassuring.
- Create a breakfast “menu” together so mornings feel more predictable and your child feels they have some choice.
Reconnect socially
- Arrange a meet-up with a school friend before the first day back. Rebuilding social connections can ease those “will anyone remember me?” worries.
- Walk past the school or visit the playground together to make the environment feel more familiar again.
Encourage self-expression
- Invite your child to write a letter to their new teacher, sharing what they enjoyed over the summer and noting any worries. This can also help teachers better understand their needs.
- Use drawing, journalling or even a “worry box” where your child can post their concerns for you to look at together.
Use stories and play
- Read social stories about returning to school, especially for younger children or those who respond well to visual prompts.
- Role-play aspects of the school day such as packing the bag, walking to school or saying hello to the teacher.
Small Activities That Make a Big Difference
Sometimes the simplest activities can help reduce worries:
- Breaking in new shoes while playing at home
- Trying on school uniform and checking for comfort
- Packing a school bag together with pencils, snacks and a favourite keyring or token
- Practising the school run so it feels familiar on the first day
- Setting up a “first day breakfast” tradition your child can look forward to
Empathy and Understanding Go a Long Way
It is easy to brush off back-to-school worries with “you’ll be fine,” but for a child who is dysregulated, those feelings are very real. By slowing down, noticing the signs and preparing gently, you are giving your child the best chance of a calm and positive start.
Returning to school is a big change for the whole family. With empathy, patience and a few practical steps, you can help your child feel safe, supported and ready to embrace the year ahead.
Ian Edwards
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